autumn migrations
formations towards the city of dreams
The Canada geese flock across the sky in their V formation » preparations for southward migration. Catching my eye are the tinted red tips of the maple trees. Signs and shapes which signal a shift in season.
7 blocks up
Halfway between the 6th and 7th mark
Stand in the pool of light on stage left
Enter through the back wing
Take half a step downstage
I’ve just wrapped my first ever shows in New York City!
The first time I visited New York was the summer between 11th and 12th grade.
I arrived at JFK airport with my fireworks meets screensaver design suitcase. With no cellphone data and a few screenshots of maps, the bold 17 year old me headed straight toward the metro - no yellow cab for this lady. On a partial scholarship with pooled up savings and support from a Gofundme, I had arrived in the city of dreams.
Mission: Joffrey Ballet School - Summer Intensive.
Some distinct memories from those 2 weeks include:
A contemporary class taught by Dwight Rhoden, director of Complexions Ballet
A dramatic run to the window followed by an improvised group lift at Tom Richardson’s evening drop-in contemporary class at Broadway Dance Centre (skip to 0:55 in the video link for this moment)
The sight and smell of garbage on the streets on a humid summer day
The relief of getting to take off my pointe shoes.
How does one reckon with dreading something they’re supposed to be loving? If it isn’t all of ballet… what about this was I drawn to? I’m still discovering new layers from my first 2 weeks in NYC.
I was never quite the dainty stereotyped damsel in distress kind of ballerina. Yet, elements within the technique still sparkled to me. I adored the stretching and contracting of time in adage, the memorization and fast footwork of petit allegro, being teased by gravity in grande allegro and geeking out at the relationship between form and function. Woven between all that was my fascination with what I now know as the mystical yet tangible, “stage presence.”
Then there was the whole part of this experience that stretched beyond the studio windows. I was stunned by the number of folks who’d travelled from different countries for this intensive. Many did not speak much English yet we shared a particular understanding when gathered within these walls…
barre: plies, tendus, dégagés…
center, diagonal, center
curtsey.
I feel quite far from the culture of ballet these days.
As a freelance contemporary dancer, warm ups are often alone or improvised. I practice collapsable elbows on the floor more than high extensions and elevations with pointed feet. The concepts and information of ballet are still used as reference points and my curiosity for form and function has remained. The context and expression are rather different.
The word Nova Bhattarcharya uses to describe her relationship to Bharatynatym resonates for my current relationship to ballet: uprooted. These nomadic years have me wondering where I’m rooting in general. My quick search on “air plants” tells me they receive their nutrients through the structure of their leaves; many little hairs, extending outwards for water and light, necessities.
I taught the Grade 10 and 12 dance majors at my old high school in Toronto before heading to Montreal for rehearsals last week. Like the Geese that follow the electromagnetic fields that orient them to the north and the south, I very matter of factly headed to 2 places:
dance office, the second right of main hall, and
phys Ed, bottom of the spiral staircase at the end of main hall.
I exchanged moments of dance and conversation with students and faculty. I stood in those studios and hallways for a moment to let the memories flood back in.
Relating to NYC and high school, here is a list of spaces and teachers who modelled and shepherd me towards some core parts of my being during that period of time:
The folks at CDM Dance and Music
Cynthia Fisher & Cheryl Quiacos Upper: the 2 directors who supported me financially, with their physical presence, and programmed a diverse curriculum for what I thought was “I’m just serious about hobbies” dance training
Shawn Bracke: who gifted me pieces of choreography to compete and was my thread to different mediums of dance expression and training spaces in the downtown core of the city
Earl Haig Secondary School - Claude Watson Arts Program’s dance faculty:
Roz Ornstein: Dance and teaching were not just a career but a vocation. She was 65 in my grade 9 year. We were her last class. She knew her system inside and out. I still see her in drop-in ballet classes in Toronto.
Tanya Stewart: she introduced me to other ballet techniques and doing non-syllabus work (which is what we did at the studio). Finding diversity on the micro scale.
Tara Lee-Blight & Joan Phillips: my first teachers of modern dance. They shared about auditions and dance happenings in the city. 9th grade me had never heard of Toronto Dance Theatre but found myself delighted by contractions and “pleading,” “suspension,” and “finding the under curve.” I was fully for the neutral face and drama in the body.
Eric James: basketball coach. Grades 9-11.
Mr. James taught me a different kind of grit, standing your ground when setting a pick, and the distance a team can travel when each individual focuses on doing their role well. It was the first time our high school girls team ever made it to Provincials.
He also willingly sat through my 4 hour Solo Seal ballet exam in Grade 11. (Which I didn’t even pass and chose to repeat again with greater success in grade 12).
Formation has rarely been from the input of one person, place or thing. Rather, it’s been a journey of discovery in parts and pieces of varied experiences. As I prepare to leave the bustling NYC, my senses are saturated with a plethora of stories. I see many parallels between this city and the one of my upbringing. Zigzagging between the intersections of these gridline streets also makes me think of modern dance icon, my former teacher, now friend, Kenny Pearl.
I also wonder about my former director at Rambert, Benoit Swan Pouffer: his training, performance, and directorship stories here with Alvin Ailey and Cedar Lake. I think of his friendship with Cheryl, the thread that lead him to our we encounter at CDM: the small basement studio in North York where I would hit my hands on the ceiling doing grande jeté en tournants. And then our remeeting for my pivotal time in London.
And I think about my grade 12 year, preparing for graduation.
I missed the first 2 weeks of school for an international ballet competition in the UK, accompanied by Cindy. I had thought, most likely University of Western Ontario for Kinesiology. February came around and Cheryl travelled with me to NYC for college auditions. I was cut first round at Julliard, almost went to SUNY Purchase, but last minute pivoted to staying in Toronto for dance. Zigzag surprises and…
Here I am again. Surprisingly and not at all surprising, still dancing…
I’ve just had my US premiere as a performer at New York City Center, Manhattan’s first performing arts center. I love that this first was at a theatre and festival “dedicated to a culture built on the values of curiosity, collaboration, accessibility, and inclusivity.” With a difficult season of injuries and far from “preferred” conditions, I reminded the doubt-filled and fearful voice in my mind of the loving support I’ve received leading up to this moment. My journey of dance has been beyond dance, layered blessings on blessings on blessings.
Folks often ask me if I’m “living the dream.” My response is usually, “No. I didn’t know anything like this growing up. I’m living beyond what I could’ve dreamed.” Dance has been a meeting and sharing point. A portal into community and opportunity. A receiving of grace and favour. A revealing of diversity and desire. Within all of that, a growing sense of awe and reverence to life’s great Divine mystery.
I was on a FaceTime call with Dwight Rhoden and collaborator Liam Francis around leadership and company values back in June. I smile looking at the picture of my first encounter with Dwight in 2015. His summary to Liam and I at the end of our call, it comes back to people and love.
As the lights come down along with my adrenaline late into the night, my excitement and joy find their completeness in that I have people to share these moments with. Either in the present, or soon, as carried stories.
Desires and dreams have revealed themselves in quiet moments and delight really does come in the moment of showing sharing. Today, I’m learning how to be present with those around me. How to notice all the things that have already begun gestating. Even with frequent departures and arrivals, dreams don’t necessarily require chasing.
Fall for Dance 2024: closing night bow of “Myokine” by Anne Plamondon Productions
From Left to Right: Justin Rapaport, Renee Sigouin, Raphaêlle Sealhunter, Eowynn Enquist, Judy Luo, Isak Enquist, Diana León.
Hello, and goodbye, again, New York City.
You are where I first established a relationship between dance and international travel.
You carry so much dance history, so many stories.
You show me yes, dance, and…
Yes, people do come to you live out their dreams
And yes, you reveal the whispers of deeper desires.
Leading the V for the migration back North is a female goose named “Rest.” In tune for the seasons of leaving or nesting, she leads the flock to places of warmth and peace. North to south. East to west. Root to Flower. Branch to ground. Cheers to the existing structures we’ve known, reformations, and the dance with our compasses.
Some snippets of related sharing:
A new performance ritual before shows: A Liturgy Before Taking the Stage
Spenser Theberge on students and teachers: sharing dance lineage and learning
I’d love to hear about your formations! Send me a message or leave a comment below.